hellO lOvely and creative sOuls!
As the new year marches On, I hOpe yOu are happy, safe, warm and healthy. Here in the Southwest, I can say I have 3 out of four of those going for me, and I’m feeling very grateful for every sunshiny day that comes our way!
Last December, I decided to choose a “wOrd Of the year” (wOty) to help me stay focused, creative and engaged with life. With that in mind, if you haven’t guessed already, my 2014 wOty is enOugh.
Depending on how it is used, enOugh can mean:
- As much as required,
- fairly, or
- impatient desire.
I chose to begin my exploration by asking some tough questions. In our culture, families and churches, we are bombarded with the message that enough is never enough, so it was (and still is) a bit rattling to ask –
Is there enough? Do I have enough? Am I enough?
If that wasn’t scary enOugh, my health began deteriorating in early January. Much to my dismay, no matter what I did or didn’t do, the extreme fatigue, headaches and nausea came flooding back. It left me screaming, enOugh, already! How much more of this can I take? Will it ever end? A new (very loud) question now arose –
When is enough, enough?
As the second week of the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics begin, I am so struck by the depth and rawness of the personal stories behind the Games. The years and years of hard work, the sacrifices, loss, injuries and disappointments the athletes and their families experience take my breath away. The stories are made even more poignant when the outcome is not the gold medal, or for many athletes, including the Americans at these games, no medal at all.
The truth is, none of us make it through this life without heartbreak and gut-wrenching loss. And even though we don’t win any medals for choosing to survive and carry on, we sure do deserve them. Life leaves many of us, including the amazing and gifted Olympians, asking, “Am I enough“? And isn’t that heartbreaking enOugh, knowing how hard each one of us has worked to live a good life and earn our “gold medals”?
So, as I make plans to get myself into the Mayo Clinic for a consultation to finally determine what I’m battling, I am learning that:
- I am strong enOugh to keep going.
- I am strong enOugh to keep asking the hard questions.
- I am brave enOugh to hear the answers.
- Life is hard enOugh without trying to prove I am enOugh.
- I’m the only one who has to believe I am enOugh.
- There is enOugh love for all of us.
May you feel the love that surrounds you,
and know that you are truly enough.
Be gentle. Be brave. Be true.
This post is dedicated to John Berg, an amazing and loving man, who inspired me to be a better person and enjoy life as it comes. Thank you for loving me and showing me there is always enough. You will be missed but never forgotten.
I lOve taking the time to look back at the year that is ending and claim all the lessons learned, the wisdom gained, and honor all the lOve that came my way. It helps to see how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown, and how I might do things differently in the coming year. And last but not least, this process helps me to look for the gifts in the ups and downs, and be grateful for it all.
SO, let’s get started!
thank yOu, 2013
Is it possible that Valley Fever is one of the best things to happen to me? I know this is a very radical thought, but the list of gifts it has brought me just keeps growing and growing.
It is actually scary to write them all down, but here goes. Dealing with Valley Fever has brought me:
- Increased self-acceptance (kicking and screaming all the way : )
- Greater capacity for compassion
- A stronger and closer connection with my husband, John (lOve, lOve, lOve this man!)
- An opening to my creative, loving and funny artist self
- An awareness and experience of how loved I am (priceless)
- Greater love and appreciation of my amazing friends and family (I am truly one lucky girl!)
- Greater appreciation for my physical body
- Lessons in how to say yes when help is offered (ok, I’m still working on this one ; )
- Lessons in how to say no when I need to
- Continued learning of the real meaning and value of self-care
- Healthier boundaries (who doesn’t need this?)
- A new and improved golf swing (visualization really does work!)
- Awareness and appreciation of my Brave Girl self
- Patience, patience and more patience
- A slower paced life – slOw dOwn, be happy : )
- Time to heal some old wounds
How can I not be grateful for Valley Fever?
the mOre and less Of 2013:
- More greens, less sugar (my body says thank you)
- More organic, less pesticides (the earth and my body say thank you)
- More water, less soda (my cells say thank you)
- More love, less criticism
- More art, less TV (I still have my favorite shows that I don’t miss!)
- More boundaries, less co-dependency
- More acceptance, less judgement
- More acupuncture, less drugs
- More feeling, less numbing
- More listening, less talking
- More ease, less pushing
- More walking, less fatigue (yay!)
- More laughter, less despair
- More play, less perfection
A few things that made me laugh in 2013:
And, my favorite prayer of the year:
Thank yOu, 2013, fOr all the lessOns, lOve, tears and laughter. I am a better persOn fOr having experienced all of it. SO I bid yOu farewell, trusting I will take with me whatever I may need fOr the cOming year.
My next blog post will be welcoming the new year by choosing my “word of the year”. It is a great practice of looking forward and setting a positive intention for the coming year. What will your word be?
Be Gentle, Be Brave, Be True