learning, lOving, grOwing – Or – “just say nO, just say yes”

“Evolutionarily, we’re always concerned with what’s not right. That’s what makes gratefulness delightfully subversive.”
– Dale Biron

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I may have said a few times before that I am a reluctant student. Don’t get me wrong. I lOve learning. I just don’t like (sometimes hate) having to admit that I don’t know something – well, everything! You know, having to admit you don’t have it all figured out. Yea, kinda funny, right?!

Actually, it’s pretty painful. Painful enough that I’ve decided to accept some help, take a stand on my own behalf, and do it a different way. (My Wellbeing Coach is working hard to teach me that it really is possible to change my mind. Literally!)

What this really means is I’m saying no to shame and embarrassment for not knowing. It means saying no to fear and worry that I might look stupid. It means saying no to beliefs that keep me tight and closed. And, it means saying no to anger and perfectionism as a way to protect myself and my tender heart. Yikes!

Just as importantly, these are the things I’m saying yes to:

  • Choice
  • Gratitude
  • Trust, and the
  • Universal Creative Force.

Big stuff for this “know it all and proud of it” girl!

This kind of change requires daily practice. If I stop paying attention, I find myself down the rabbit hole staring into the face of that grinning Cheshire Cat. Not the sweet fuzzy kitten face, but the grin that says “I gotcha again”. Nope, not this time. This time, this “Alice”, is going to create her own Wonderland!

My healing team has expanded and now includes Dr. Bradley Williams, Dr. Stephen Fry, and the above mentioned Wellbeing Extraordinaire, Andrew Miller, PhD. The truth is, I feel better than I have since I got sick. And, as shocking as this is to say – I now see that I got sick to get well – “well” on a whole new level – “well” not only in body, but in mind and sOul, too.

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On many days I feel lighter, happier, and freer than ever before. I am still a work in progress, and always will be. I just now know that life is kinder if I’m open, and not clinging so tightly to the thoughts and beliefs that undermine my happiness and wellbeing. Maybe this old dog can learn a few new things.

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Here are a few new messages I am giving myself this Summer:

Keep looking for what is right and lovely in your world.

Let jOy in the front door of your sOul hOuse, and relax into the support of the Universe.

Be grateful for those who lOve you, and lOve them back even more.

Release your grip on how you think things should be, and relax into the freedom and beauty of how they really are.

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BE BRAVE.

BE GENTLE.

BE TRUE.

lOve, vickiO

2 comments

  1. Sandy Eakes

    Dear Vicki, I just want you to know that I thoroughly enjoy reading your story. Most times when I read it, I progress from choked up, dropping a tear and finishing feeling hopeful and enlightened. You are a very wise soul and I’m glad you are sharing your thoughts. I’ve needed some counseling over the last 50 years ( no, I’m not a crazy lady) 😉 I can relate to many of your thoughts. One counselor said,”Life is a long journey and it’s mostly two steps forward and one step back!” I believe in asking for help when we need it. We also need to be open and honest with ourselves. Lastly, you are truly an inspiration to me and I thank you!😍

    • vickioart

      Thank you so much for sharing your wise and beautiful self with me, Sandy❤️ To know my words and honesty bring some inspiration and comfort to you, is so lovely and humbling. I definitely recognize the dance of two steps forward and one step back😊 and I too have been very lucky to have some gifted therapists who have helped guide me through the rocky times. (And, sometimes, I’m pretty crazy😘) Have a wonderful day, and much lOve to you! Hugs, Vicki

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