patience, patients & impatiens

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Life has been a lot less stressful since I was officially diagnosed with Valley Fever. My mind is no longer using energy to spin in circles trying to “figure this whole thing out”. I’ve been evaluated for physical therapy, and my insurance company has approved 8 visits. Barb will be my PT expert, and John, my husband, will drive me across town tomorrow morning for my first official visit.

"hOpe", ink &acrylic on 5x7 canvas board

“hOpe”, ink &acrylic on 5×7 canvas board

I’ve even had some energy to paint these last couple of weeks. I was able to finally finish the second Starbucks “thank you” art piece, complete the latest commissioned wine labels, and reorganize my art space.

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All of this is such good news, and yet I’m finding myself feeling hopeless about actually getting “well”. I’m seeing a bit of improvement, but after all my ups and downs, I just don’t trust it. And today has been a very tired day. My doctor says “have patience”, my acupuncturist says, “have patience”, and now my physical therapist is saying “have patience”. I am SO tired of being patient I could scream!

"did sOmeOne say patience?"

“did sOmeOne say be patient?”

The truth is, I’m a very patient person. I pride myself on being patient. But, honestly, this has tested the limits of my patience like never before. And being a patient patient seems just about impossible today. Maybe that is why these two words look and sound the same – it requires one to be the other. I came across the following quote on Pinterest, and it really helped me get clear about the facts and where my focus needs to be. It kind of says it all…

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Fact #1: I am doing everything in my power to get well.

Fact #2: This Valley Fever “down-time” has provided me some much needed soul-searching and artist exploration time (that I have used very well, by the way : )

And Fact #3: I really do have a great life.

So, I will gather myself once again, and boldly continue on this path of healing and growth and finding the magical silver linings.

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This past week I planted flowers for the first time since coming to Arizona. I swore I would never do it, because “they just don’t belong here in the desert”. Well, my Midwest heart needed some potted flowers! But, did I really need to pick impatiens?!

"my desert impatiens"

“my desert impatiens”

I guess I did!

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Impatiens (or impatient) in the desert sun…

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Thank you for having patience with me as I heal. I know everyone is pulling for me and every kind card, thought, word, stuffed animal, phone call, email, Facebook “Like”, and prayer is gratefully cherished and accepted. To my healing team (yes, you!), “I respectfully, humbly, and gratefully accept the help you are offering.” Thank you for everything!

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May all your dreams come true! Happy May Day, lOvelies!

lOve, vickiO

8 comments

  1. Sharon Lunde

    Your talent overwhelms me. What a huge gift you have received from VALLEY FEVER. Your PATIENCE and your IMPATIENS (I want to plant them as well, maybe next year) inspires me to learn the lesson of patience. I have an F on my report card at this time – coming from an OLD school l teacher. You have an A +. I am studying very hard. LOL

    • vickioart

      Thank you for making me smile, Sharon : ) Patience is a very tough lesson, but I’m so happy to know I have an A+!!! You have so many other A+’s that I wouldn’t worry about that darn F! LOL Love you. Love you!

  2. Jan D

    Happy May Day to you too, dear sister!!
    You are so right, fighting the battle isn’t nearly as hard as not knowing which battle you’re fighting.
    You are such an inspiration…. Out of your dark winter has bloomed an
    artist/ writer. I look forward to your posts and am always so impressed and proud of who you are!!
    Sending you MN lilacs, tulips and daffodils :0)
    I love you.
    Jan

    • vickioart

      Hi Jan! Thank you for your kind and loving comments. They warmed my heart : ) I could see the lilacs and tulips and daffodils all coming my way. Thank you sweet Sister – I always feel better after hearing from you. I love you, too!

  3. Karla Hill-Donisch

    Dearest VickiO,
    My heart is aching for you today. I miss you so much. I would send you MN flowers but it is snowing on them as I write this. Mother Nature is full of the unknown. You have always taught me patience, you know how I like ripping the bandaid off. I am slowly realizing how important it is to be patient. I am on this ride with you, not knowing where we are going or when we get to get off. I am sending you many loving hugs today.

    I love you,
    Karla

    • vickioart

      Hi My Dear Karla. We have definitely travelled many roads together, and accepted many lessons along the way. What I’ve learned about myself is that on the outside I strive to be patient, and on the inside a part of me is screaming and demanding results now. I’m so happy we are together on this bumpy and rocky road of life. I love you!

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