dreams cOme true

One year ago I found myself writing about hitting bottom in my hello bOttOm post. Bottoms are rich with lessons, insights, inspiration and motivation if you choose to keep looking, breathing, and then screaming and crying when you need to. It is not the easiest choice, but, in my opinion, the worthiest.

“Stay close to anything that makes you glad you are alive.”
– Hafiz

Today I find myself in a much different place (yippee!) and I’m suprised at how uncomfortable I feel. It’s a bit embarrassing to admit that, but it’s really the truth. Don’t get me wrong. I’m crazy happy and excited that this is the best I have felt in five years, but it’s also quite challenging to embrace the joy of it all. I’m not 100% yet, but feeling this new level of vitality in my body is amazing, and frightening at the same time.

Amazing because I now feel capable of taking what I’ve learned these last five years to build a life that offers the world the best of me, and really makes me happy. Frightening because I know what it’s like to not have the strength to get out of bed, and the memory of it is still quite haunting. But maybe that makes it even more important to happily and boldly claim where I am now.

“What we don’t need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human.

– Brene Brown

Maybe this moving on and embracing joy time is as sacred as the dark, rich, fighting for your life time. Oh, I sure do hope so. I wouldn’t want anyone else to miss this part of their journey, so why am I giving myself such a hard time about it? I actually think I’m feeling guilty. Oh, man, I didn’t see that one coming!

Feeling guilty for getting well when other people are still suffering with their dis-eases. That part of this makes me really sad. If I could give everybody good health and vitality I would. I really, really would.

 “Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
– Anne Lamott

So, I guess I have a choice to make. To keep shining my light in the best way I know how, or to let the shame and guilt win. Well, I will tell you right now – they are NOT going to win. I’ve worked too damn hard and long for that to happen!

Even though it feels terribly risky, I’m making a promise to myself, right nOw, to revel in this new energy. To keep claiming every bit of joy and light I can, and to keep making choices that light me up. It’s really my wish for everyone on the planet, so why wouldn’t I choose it for myself, too?

To that end, I will share with you that I have been accepted into the Fountain Hills Artists Gallery!!! How crazy unbelievable is that?!? Truth be told, I am over the moon about it. As far back as I can remember I’ve dreamed of being an artist. I’ve always loved creating things, fixing things, and finding ways to put things back together again in new ways. And here I am sharing it with the world!! Some dreams really do come true!

For many of my working years I imagined my 80-year old self as a budding artist. I’m so happy I didn’t wait that long. I’m actually 20 1/2 years ahead of time! All I can say is thank you, thank you, thank you. To the Universe, my creativity, my perseverance, and to all of you. I truly wouldn’t have made it without you.

None of us know what is around the next corner, which makes every day a special opportunity to respond to life in a way that is in line with who you really are. Your unique brand of love, creativity, humor and kindness is invaluable to the world. Don’t ever forget that. I promise I won’t either.

Be Brave.

Be Kind.

Be True.

lOve, vickiO

P.S. My artwork will be in the Fountain Hills Artists Gallery beginning June 6, 2017. I’m so happy to be a part of this new community, and to be supporting the arts right here in my beautiful little town. I’ll be sharing more about it in the coming months, and invite you to check out my Artist Bio on their website.

Keep dreaming and becoming!

28 comments

  1. Karla

    It is truly a jOyOus Day!!! Thank you for taking me on your journey with you. Much love coming your way!!!!

  2. Sandra Eakes

    I’ve said it before but saying it again. I love reading about your journey. It’s very inspiring food for thought for me. I have people in my life whom I’ve known for eternity and yet, I feel like I feel your soul and it’s b/c you share it. It’s truly a priceless gift you give others.

    • vickioart

      It makes it all worthwhile to have my story and my soul be received so lovingly and kindly. Thank you, Sandy, from the bottom of my heart❤️

  3. O'Shea Maggie

    Vicki, I am thrilled to hear you are doing so well. Your courage and spirit have been an inspiration to me these last five years. Your post today is beautiful and continues to make me think about all there is to be happy about in my own life! Thank you for sharing your deepest feeings! ( And congratulations on being accepted into our local gallery!)

    • vickioart

      Thanks so much, Maggie. It’s a constant practice to pay attention to the things and people that bring me happiness, and make my life so rich. Thank you for being one of them❤️ Can’t wait to see my art hung up in the gallery😍

  4. Susan Kipp

    Oh, Vicki! You are so brave. It is scary to have such such joy after so much hardship, but unbelievably wonderful. Enjoy every minute of this new experience. Love and sucedes to you.
    Susan

    • vickioart

      Hello Susan!! I know you really get what I wrote about, and it helps so much to be understood. Thank you so much. Love and hugs to you!❤️🦋

  5. Lahna Chaffee

    Wow! I am so very happy for you. You certainly deserve this improvement in health. Did you change anything, take something new? Any words of wisdome are appreciated as I am still hopefully awaiting the feeling you are experiencing. I do not, however, begrudge you this fabulous change. I too wish it for everyone with a chronic condition. Do proceed with caution though, difficult as that is. Like you I am so challenged whenever I do start to get some energy, which has now been a long time, that I can’t wait to use it! Hopefully we have both learned that lesson & that I, too, get the opportunity to find out.

    Many blessings, Lahna

    • vickioart

      Hello Lahna, I SO wish this feeling and experience for you, too. It’s so hard not knowing if and when our bodies will respond with more energy. And even now, every time it dips, my mind kicks into high gear trying to figure out what happened, what I ate, what I got stressed about, and on and on. My meditation practice has helped a lot with that. I don’t remember, are you in the Phoenix area? I definitely have a doctor to recommend if you are. Also, and this may sound a bit strange, but I’ve been asking this question every morning and every night for a couple of months now. It has really helped. “Dear Universe, why am I healthy and full of vitality?” It opens the connection for the Universe to conspire with us, and provide the answer. You can use the words that fit best for you. If you want more information about this, you can email me vickioart@cox.net.
      Know I am sending you hugs, ease and healing, and wishing you well❤️❤️ Thank you for your kind thoughts and words.
      Love, Vicki

  6. Diana Kaiser

    Exciting things happening for you. Thanks for sharing! I smiled the whole way through…..ear to ear.

  7. Ruth Kelly

    Great news you have to share! I knew you would make the journey back. Enjoy life, laugh, love, be grateful for all your gifts.
    God Bless You.
    Ruth

    • vickioart

      Oh, Ruthie, thank you so much!! Thank you for believing in me, and in the amazing ability of the body to heal❤️❤️ So grateful for you😍 Love and hugs, Vicki

  8. nelsonrogersdesign

    Thanks for sharing your heart with us. Let’s all live in a “guilt free” zone! Huge congrats on being a part of the FH Artist Gallery – so proud and happy for you. Sign me 63 “badass” levels!

    • vickioart

      Hi Debra! So loved getting your comments and congrats😍 I’m all in on the “guilt free” zone! It’s very sneaky stuff, and it helps to bring it into the light. Signed, your badass level 59 friend😍

  9. Karen

    Vicki, so glad that you’re feeling good and congrats on the FH Artists Gallery! Awesome! The world is your playground! Enjoy!
    Karen

    • vickioart

      Thank you, Karen!! Love that – “the world is your playground”❤️ So, So true🦋 and everything looks brighter when I can see it that way😍 Thanks for the great reminder. Hugs!

  10. Lisa Shore

    Hi Vicki! I am so proud of you, my friend. You have persevered through and you have so much success in your artwork to welcome you to the other side. Keep working to create a new normal for yourself and dash away those feelings of guilt! They aren’t invited to the party. 😉 I love your Bio on the Gallery website. A beautiful taste and representation of your work! I can’t wait to hug you in person. Congratulations!!!!! xoxoxoxo

    • vickioart

      Thank you so much, Lisa❤️ You’ve been with me from the start of VickiO and I can never thank you enough. Each small step gets us to where we want to go😍 And you’re right – guilt and shame are NOT invited to the party‼️ Love this!! Hope to be hugging you soon!

  11. Gerald Wallin

    Hi Vicki, Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings about the last five years. I totally understand your conflicting feelings. There are those who feel life owes THEM something. And then…there are those like us who feel humbled and guilty when, even if just for a while, Life seems to go our way. I’ve come to the conclusion that God gives us the good Times to help us learn how to deal more easily and wisely with the bad ones. I’m trying to live each day grateful for all I’ve been given and hopeful I’ll be able to handle the bad times when they come. Love, Carol Sent from my iPad

    >

    • vickioart

      Hello Carol, Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with me. Really inspiring and helpful❤️ My goto practice sure has gratitude as a large component to it. And there really is a lot to be grateful for in my life😍 Big hugs and much love to you😘‼️

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